I had a conversation with a client recently about some mixed emotions that she was having. She is totally unhappy with her job and we are working on developing a successful exit strategy, but she found herself feeling slightly guilty about her unhappiness. With all of the talk in the news about the poor economy and soaring unemployment rates, she felt that she should be grateful that she even had a job.
Gratefulness is what her pastor was preaching and gratefulness is what her mother stressed sternly to her when she called her in tears about the stress that her job was producing. Her two girlfriends that had recently lost their jobs told her to just be grateful that she can pay her bills. And so here she sat in this conundrum between misery and gratefulness. Here she sat with me looking for permission to be unhappy; feeling guilty because having the resources to pay the bills wasn’t enough to completely satisfy her with her life’s work. On a daily basis she felt unappreciated, underutilized, bored, frustrated and confused. Today she also felt guilty and unappreciative.
My heart goes out to this client and to the many other workers who feel this way. People who are tricked into stagnation by propaganda, language and systems that exercise control by making people believe that they have no options. I wonder how many slaves stayed put after being declared free thinking, “At least massa gives me a place to sleep.”
People like to throw around the expression that money is the root of all evil, but I believe that fear is the route of all evil. Fear freezes people. Fear tells us that we have to stay in a bad relationship or a cancerous environment because we don’t know what else is out there. Fear allows us to be misused and abused.
We were not created as one dimensional people. We are complex and ever evolving. It is possible to both appreciate the vessel in which we receive our income while also having faith that our source is larger and more powerful than our current situation. It is ok to want more, different and/or better, but remember faith without works is dead. Start working on your exit strategy today. Call me if you need help.
I read the blog and I must say that I have experienced this!
People could not understand how or why I would leave a position just because I was unhappy. Many people including my mother said the same thing your client was told. I could not MAKE people understand that my peace and joy are more important than ANYTHING! I went through hell to get to my peaceful place, to get to my joy, and nothing not a job, man, nor situation will take that away from me. I must protect, along with God’s continued protection, my spirit by not allowing ‘miserableness’, guilt, shame ect. to invade what God has given me.
People would say, “you got 3 kids, how are you going to take care of them leaving that job, you need to find your peace IN your job.”
Well my reply was this….if in the midst of bitter people, ignorant conversations, being used and mistreated, feeling cheated and disrespected….if in the midst of that I cannot hear the voice of God…then that is not the place to be. I have been in that situation and tried to stay, minister, live, and work things out only to drive myself mad, sick and empty. Not anymore!
I TRUST God in all my affairs. Not just one area of my life but them all. And at that job I was at it attempted to suck the life out me.
I asked God if this is where you want me, why so much hatred, and asking myself questions like what is my purpose here. Thinking I’m not strong enough or that I was giving up if I left (guilt). That I was running (fear). Feeling bad because I was told to stay and fight for what was right. But God said you don’t have to fight here. “Trust Me”, was all I continued to hear. I needed to be in a position to hear Him so I can serve not just Him but the community as well.
I prayed and asked God to help me because I am releasing this stronghold that this position has put on me. I asked for help. It was rough but it felt so good to let go and let God. I struggled yes, but I struggled with a smile on my face and joy in my heart that others could see. There is a peace that swells up in our souls when we know that we are going to be alright (Faith). When we trust someone higher than ourselves, for me that just happens to be God. And Andrea, He has never left me nor let me down.
And one last thing I would like to add…In trusting, doors have been opened that I believed to have been closed forever. A perspective, a shifting of my relationships, a joy and peace beyond what I thought ws possible. I now can take smart risks, I now can trust my decisions. I now can live and not fear death.
Comment by Jamayca Mize — October 18, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
AMEN!!!! So eloquently stated by both of you…..and exactly what I needed to read!!
Comment by Karlyn — October 19, 2009 @ 7:02 pm
Thank you for this blog, it is exactly what I needed to hear.
Comment by Alicia — October 21, 2009 @ 10:04 am