Women are creators. Women are powerful beings. Women at our best have the power to nurture, protect and give birth to change in the world. In the creation story God made Adam and then realized that Adam could not exist on his own. Adam needed balance and vision and a vessel to continue to create and reproduce. God did not give Adam the ability to bring forth life. He trusted you with the responsibility of life. Have you ever stopped to think about the symbolism in your creation and that fact that mankind lives on only because of you?

So why is it now that women have had to fight for the right to vote? Why is it now that women have to prove that they can hold the same positions that men have? Why is now that women earn $.75 for every dollar that men make? Why is it now that women have to prove that they are capable of holding a position in government? Why are we being painted as hateful, emotional, dysfunctional people? Is it because there are powers that know what we’re capable of if we join together?

I need you. I need the energy of my sisters? I need your inspiration. I need your experience. I need you to mentor my daughters. I need you to be an example for my girls. I need you to raise strong men. I need you to be my friend. I need you to support my efforts. I need you to teach me new recipes. I need you to encourage me through my marriage. I need you. I need you as you for me. I really don’t care how you wear your hair, if you have children, if you have a degree, if you’ve been to prison, if you’re a size 0 or a size 32. I love you. I need you to love me.

How about we try something new? Let’s send this as an email? How about we call the radio and talk about how much we love each other? How about you post this note on Facebook? How about you tweet about your love for your sisters? I have work to do ladies and I need you.

You in your unique body, with your individual expression and your autonomous thought process, are a part of this big space that we call the universe. You are a piece of something. You belong to a family or a neighborhood or a community. You are a member of a state, a country and a continent. No matter what your personal feelings are about race or ethnicity there is a group of people that share similar characteristics and histories. You are a surviving member of that group. Who do you think you are not giving this life all you have? What gives you the right not to fight hard for your community? I am you and you are me. Who you become will either help me or harm me in some way. Why would you take that lightly?

Wanting the best out of life is not selfish. I want you to succeed because in succeeding you will influence me, my children and my family members. I will not tear you down because in doing so I hurt me. I threaten my own existence by not supporting yours. Do not be humble about wanting the best out of life. You owe it to us to be successful. There is a saying that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. I need you to be all that you can be so that you can support me. Don’t be the weakest link.

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A specific goal answers the who, what, when and why questions. For example your resolution might be to start your own business, but your SMART goal will assist you in the planning of this project by answering the following questions:
• What business will I start?
• Where will my business operate?
• Who will be my partners? Who will I need to work with?
• Why is this business important to me?
• When will I start?

A measureable goal is one that has milestones. Instead of setting the resolution of losing 25 pounds, a SMART goal might be to lose two pounds per month for the entire year of 2010. This way each month you are charting your loss and you can see what works for you and adjust monthly if you find a certain workout or nutrition plan isn’t doing what you expected. Also a measureable goal leaves less room for surprise at the end!

An attainable goal is a large goal that is broken down into smaller, easier to accomplish parts. Take the weight loss goal for example. By breaking down the 25 pound goal into 12 smaller parts, you get to celebrate and encourage yourself along the way. Are your goals for 2010 attainable?

When first introduced to the SMART goal system I fought the realistic part. I thought who am I as a coach to tell someone that their goal is or is not realistic, but working with clients every day has shown me why this is important. I believe that where there is a will there is a way, but I also believe that personal and physical factors can influence our ability to overcome certain challenges. I would never tell someone that they can’t accomplish a goal, but we may need to determine whether or not you need additional time or resources to proceed.

Finally your goal should be timebound. You should establish clear start, end and check in points on the road to achieving your goal. If, for example, your goal is to write a book, you might want a date for your chapter outline, dates that each chapter will be completed, a date that the draft will go to your editor, etc. Making your goals timebound encourages constant effort. Trust me it works!

In the end what will be said about your story? What legacy are you leaving behind? If today were your last day on the planet and a script was being made about your life, how would it read? Would people say that you loved hard? Are there a ton of souls that you’ve damaged? Where did your energy go? Did you help someone? Did you build something? What have you created that will live beyond your time on this planet?

The wonderful thing about today is that you have this day to write a page in that script. If there’s something that you’ve been meaning to do you can start working to accomplish it. If you’ve hurt someone you can apologize. If you’ve lived only for yourself you can reach out to someone in need. Today you can start working to further your education or start a new business. Today you can call an abandoned friend or family member. We are not promised tomorrow, but there is so much beauty in today. Don’t wait until the end to think about the beginning.

What I have learned from watching the creatures in my garden is that when you have a job to do and you believe that your mission is your reason for living…it’s hard to be depressed. I don’t find too many ants abandoning ship in my backyard. Even when I displace their environment by planting a new crop or adding a stone decoration, the ant will fight very hard to return to its job…to doing what it is supposed to be doing.

We have that same passion. We have that same desire. Our spirits are fighting to fulfill their purpose in the limited time that they have on this planet, but for many of us we are our own roadblock. Our thoughts, our narrow vision, our weak faith get in the way of us fulfilling our responsibilities to the universe. Lack of order creates space for chaos. Chaos in our minds can become disease in our bodies. Uncovering your path and discovering your passion in not a luxury it is a necessity.

In my therapeutic relationships I’m constantly assisting my clients in the exploration of their attitudes and self-talk. As a facilitator it is my job to remind them how imperative it is that we force ourselves to take inventory of the messages that we are nourishing our minds with. When we believe that we can’t…we won’t.

In preparation for updating today’s blog I decided to practice a coaching lesion on myself. I did a self-talk reflection exercise. I went through my day hour by hour and recorded what activities I participated in. In addition to what I did, I wrote down how I felt and what I said. My day went something like this:

6 a.m. I woke up. I felt exhausted. I said, “Oh God I’m tired.”

7:10 a.m. Took my daughter to school. I felt rushed. She missed the bus. I said, “Whew, It’s going to be a long day.”

10 a.m. Staff meeting. I felt like my time was being wasted. I whispered to a co-worker that I could feel my brain cells dying. She laughed and totally agreed.

Half the day had gone past before I realized how negative I was being and how that negativity was affecting my productivity. My statements were simply affirming my situation and were not serving to create positive in my life. So I stopped. Just like that. I stopped and just like that I changed my self-talk. And now I feel better about my day AND I have updated my blog!

We all need support and a gentle reminder from time to time. Now…what are you telling yourself? What messages are you feeding your soul? If the saying it true that thoughts become things, what will you be tomorrow?

Preparation for Success
10 Thoughts for the Young at Heart
1. Ask Yourself What Activities Make you Happy – If all of your bills were paid, what would you do for free? A career counselor can help you explore how these activities might be possible vocational avenues.

2. Experience Life – Do lots of different things. Trying new things is the best way to figure out what you truly enjoy.

3. Volunteer – Doing good is good for you. We should all attempt to contribute to this planet that we live in and the people that we share it with. Volunteering also increases your network. It’s a good idea to be around people that care about helping. (Hint* they might decide to want to help you!)

4. Talk to Adults – If for no reason than the fact that adults have been on the planet longer than you and had more time to make mistakes…use their knowledge! Everyone doesn’t have to learn the hard way. Finding a mentor is an important part to your career development process.

5. Keep a Journal – Journaling helps you to articulate your feeling and experiences. Looking back at our entries we often find common themes that are important in realizing what’s going on in our minds. Journaling is a time for you. All day you spend doing things that others tell you to do. Take 15 minutes at night before you go to bed or in the morning before you start your day and record your thoughts just for you.

6. Do Good Work – Whatever you do, take pride in it. Whether it’s a class project or a chore around the house. When you do good work people take notice. Successful people like to align themselves with people that do good work. It makes them look good. You are more likely to receive assistance and encouragement when people believe that you try hard and take pride in your work.

7. Start Now – Yes. You have long term goals, but along the way there are tons of little goals… start knocking them out now. Who knows you may be able to do a small part of your goal in the very near future. There are tons of young entrepreneurs, writers, entertainers, etc. You don’t have to wait until you turn 18 to “be somebody.”

8. Stay Out of Trouble – Things that we do when we’re young have a way of popping back up when we’re older. As you’re going about your day consider the impact of explaining to a college admissions counselor, a future employer or your own future son or daughter about the decisions that you’ve made.

9. Watch Your Online Activity – MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter are all fun interactive ways to keep in touch with your friends, but they can also be research tools for a future decision maker in your life. Be careful what you put online. You can not truly erase anything that makes it to the cyber world. You make think that you’re having a fun conversation with friends, but you never know who is watching. That goes for text messages and picture mail too.

10. Mess Up – After all of that I must say there is value in falling down. You learn how to get up. Don’t be so afraid to mess up that you don’t try new things. You have to live and learn. Experience is everything!

Let me correct a common misunderstanding. A plan is simply not a list of things that we are going to do on certain days. A plan is an explanation of who, what, when, why and how. Creating a plan for achieving a goal takes work… almost as much work as actually performing the activity. Plans have rules and restrictions. Plans hold us accountable to ourselves and others, yet plans leave room for critique, review and adequate adjustments.

It is not second nature to properly plan for transition. We are typically not taught how to be intentional in our lives. We are a culture of people who were raised off messages such as, “Go with the flow,” “Let Go and Let God,” “If it’s meant to be it will,” and there is relevance to those expressions except when used deceitfully. There is balance to everything so I remind you that yes you should, “Be still and wait on him,” but remember also that faith without works is dead. In all things there is a required action.

You must be the change in your life. You must initiate the new direction. Creating a list of resolutions at the end of each year is a pointless tradition if you are not willing to go the next step and formulate a plan to create those desires. Here is a complementary coaching session. Write down three things you want to achieve/do/or change in the next year. Now what are you willing to do to achieve/do/or change those things? Finally what actions will you perform, when, how, where and why will you do them? Spend some time with this exercise. If you need help consider a life coach. I offer phone consultations for those of you that are not in the Metro-Atlanta area.