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What Will Be Said About You?

December 31, 2009

One of my favorite movie lines comes from the film Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It’s when the character played by Brad Pitt says, “In the end you start thinking about the beginning.” Less than ten words…a thought so real, yet so poetic. That is the human experience. We spend so much time going through the motions. We race a clock that we’ve created in our own heads that says that we have to climb certain mountains by certain periods of time. We don’t stop to recognize the beauty in the moments and this saddens me. There are lessons to be learned in the moments. It is how we start, fall and get up that gives our future character.

In the end what will be said about your story? What legacy are you leaving behind? If today were your last day on the planet and a script was being made about your life, how would it read? Would people say that you loved hard? Are there a ton of souls that you’ve damaged? Where did your energy go? Did you help someone? Did you build something? What have you created that will live beyond your time on this planet?

The wonderful thing about today is that you have this day to write a page in that script. If there’s something that you’ve been meaning to do you can start working to accomplish it. If you’ve hurt someone you can apologize. If you’ve lived only for yourself you can reach out to someone in need. Today you can start working to further your education or start a new business. Today you can call an abandoned friend or family member. We are not promised tomorrow, but there is so much beauty in today. Don’t wait until the end to think about the beginning.

Lack of order creates space for chaos

December 28, 2009

I believe in divine purpose. I believe in a creator that is not wasteful. I believe that I was created for a reason (or many reasons). I believe the exact same thing about each and every one of my clients. I follow nature. I’m a gardener. It is overwhelming sometimes for me to sit in my garden and watch the natural order of things; the delicate cycle of life. In my garden I watch every creature, from the smallest bug to the largest tree, know its role and play its position. The ants march orderly, destined to fulfill their life’s purpose. They are soldiers, protectors, warriors. Some are hunters and gatherers. Some ants care for the larvae and trust me they know when to fight and when to exit and regroup.

What I have learned from watching the creatures in my garden is that when you have a job to do and you believe that your mission is your reason for living…it’s hard to be depressed. I don’t find too many ants abandoning ship in my backyard. Even when I displace their environment by planting a new crop or adding a stone decoration, the ant will fight very hard to return to its job…to doing what it is supposed to be doing.

We have that same passion. We have that same desire. Our spirits are fighting to fulfill their purpose in the limited time that they have on this planet, but for many of us we are our own roadblock. Our thoughts, our narrow vision, our weak faith get in the way of us fulfilling our responsibilities to the universe. Lack of order creates space for chaos. Chaos in our minds can become disease in our bodies. Uncovering your path and discovering your passion in not a luxury it is a necessity.

Self-Talk

December 14, 2009

This month, I have challenged myself to update my blog at least once a week. And yes…this is proving to be a challenge. It’s not easy to update frequently because well…life gets in the way. There’s always some job, circumstance or situation that requires my immediate attention. There’s constantly some need that I must address before I’m free to sit down and express myself. I have every reason NOT to write. I am a mom. I am a wife. I have a full time job. I am in private practice. I’m enrolled in additional certification courses this semester…the house…the car, etc. I could go on and on affirming why I don’t or can’t, but this month I choose to do.

In my therapeutic relationships I’m constantly assisting my clients in the exploration of their attitudes and self-talk. As a facilitator it is my job to remind them how imperative it is that we force ourselves to take inventory of the messages that we are nourishing our minds with. When we believe that we can’t…we won’t.

In preparation for updating today’s blog I decided to practice a coaching lesion on myself. I did a self-talk reflection exercise. I went through my day hour by hour and recorded what activities I participated in. In addition to what I did, I wrote down how I felt and what I said. My day went something like this:

6 a.m. I woke up. I felt exhausted. I said, “Oh God I’m tired.”

7:10 a.m. Took my daughter to school. I felt rushed. She missed the bus. I said, “Whew, It’s going to be a long day.”

10 a.m. Staff meeting. I felt like my time was being wasted. I whispered to a co-worker that I could feel my brain cells dying. She laughed and totally agreed.

Half the day had gone past before I realized how negative I was being and how that negativity was affecting my productivity. My statements were simply affirming my situation and were not serving to create positive in my life. So I stopped. Just like that. I stopped and just like that I changed my self-talk. And now I feel better about my day AND I have updated my blog!

We all need support and a gentle reminder from time to time. Now…what are you telling yourself? What messages are you feeding your soul? If the saying it true that thoughts become things, what will you be tomorrow?

Preparation for Success – Thoughts for the Young at Heart

December 8, 2009

This weekend I conducted a career presentation for a delightful group of students. They were up early in the morning on a Saturday to learn how to become successful, positive professionals. Below are the tips that guided my discussion.

Preparation for Success
10 Thoughts for the Young at Heart
1. Ask Yourself What Activities Make you Happy – If all of your bills were paid, what would you do for free? A career counselor can help you explore how these activities might be possible vocational avenues.

2. Experience Life – Do lots of different things. Trying new things is the best way to figure out what you truly enjoy.

3. Volunteer – Doing good is good for you. We should all attempt to contribute to this planet that we live in and the people that we share it with. Volunteering also increases your network. It’s a good idea to be around people that care about helping. (Hint* they might decide to want to help you!)

4. Talk to Adults – If for no reason than the fact that adults have been on the planet longer than you and had more time to make mistakes…use their knowledge! Everyone doesn’t have to learn the hard way. Finding a mentor is an important part to your career development process.

5. Keep a Journal – Journaling helps you to articulate your feeling and experiences. Looking back at our entries we often find common themes that are important in realizing what’s going on in our minds. Journaling is a time for you. All day you spend doing things that others tell you to do. Take 15 minutes at night before you go to bed or in the morning before you start your day and record your thoughts just for you.

6. Do Good Work – Whatever you do, take pride in it. Whether it’s a class project or a chore around the house. When you do good work people take notice. Successful people like to align themselves with people that do good work. It makes them look good. You are more likely to receive assistance and encouragement when people believe that you try hard and take pride in your work.

7. Start Now – Yes. You have long term goals, but along the way there are tons of little goals… start knocking them out now. Who knows you may be able to do a small part of your goal in the very near future. There are tons of young entrepreneurs, writers, entertainers, etc. You don’t have to wait until you turn 18 to “be somebody.”

8. Stay Out of Trouble – Things that we do when we’re young have a way of popping back up when we’re older. As you’re going about your day consider the impact of explaining to a college admissions counselor, a future employer or your own future son or daughter about the decisions that you’ve made.

9. Watch Your Online Activity – MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter are all fun interactive ways to keep in touch with your friends, but they can also be research tools for a future decision maker in your life. Be careful what you put online. You can not truly erase anything that makes it to the cyber world. You make think that you’re having a fun conversation with friends, but you never know who is watching. That goes for text messages and picture mail too.

10. Mess Up – After all of that I must say there is value in falling down. You learn how to get up. Don’t be so afraid to mess up that you don’t try new things. You have to live and learn. Experience is everything!